Does Couples Therapy Make Things Worse?
How do I know when it’s time to see a couples therapist? How do I know if couples therapy is right for us? What if couples therapy makes things worse? I’ve heard all of these questions time and time again. Chances are, if you are asking these questions, it means that you are ready to get help for your relationship but feel afraid to make that jump. As they say, information is power so I hope today’s post can give you the information you need to feel empowered and take that next step.
What are the benefits of couples therapy?
Therapy can benefit couples in many ways. Below are three of the common areas you can expect to see improvement.
Gaining insight into your problems.
Through therapy, you and your partner will begin to directly face the issues you have. Your therapist will help you identify the roles and responsibilities you each have in your problems. You will also be able to clearly see what your dysfunctional patterns are and how they are sabotaging your relationship. Lastly, you will be able to better understand your partner’s and your own feelings, beliefs, and behaviors.
Learn how to resolve conflict
Couples therapy is very direct, action-oriented, and skills-based. This means that you will walk away from your sessions with clear directions, tools, and skills to practice and use at home. The most common skills that you will work on are communication, conflict resolution, self-regulation, problem-solving, and compromise. Your therapist will be able to tailor the tools shown to you based on what your current issues are.
Improve relationship satisfaction
If you are thinking about couples therapy, then it’s likely that you are not feeling very satisfied in your relationship. As you and your partner begin to address your issues and practice new skills, the hope is that you will begin to feel less exhausted, frustrated, and hopeless in your relationship. But couples therapy doesn’t just stop there. You can also spend time working on improving the friendship between each other, increasing affection, meeting each other’s needs, and building trust. All of these things can greatly improve how satisfied you feel in your relationship.
Who can benefit from couples therapy?
Couples therapy can work for any couple, regardless of your age, sexual orientation, relationship stage, or relationship style. You can be dealing with a current problem, a recurring problem, or a problem from the past. The issues you face can be small, big, or somewhere in between. Many couples get help when they are coping with a transition or stressor, such as moving in together, getting married, or separating. Couples therapy can also benefit people who are coping with physical or mental health issues, healing from trauma, or experiencing minor/major life changes.
Can couples therapy make people break-up?
Not exactly. Unfortunately, not every relationship will be successful. Sometimes there are major differences in values, lifestyles, beliefs, or other major areas that may be too difficult to compromise on. Other times, one person in the relationship is no longer committed even if the other person is. If you are having problems in your relationship, they likely won’t resolve on their own. With the help of a therapist, you can either get the improvement you are both looking for or come to the realization that it’s no longer a good fit between you. The good news is that a couples therapist can actually help you navigate those steps if that is the direction you end up deciding on. So no, therapy won’t make you break-up but it can help you come to terms if that’s the best option for you.
Still not sure?
All relationships go through ups and downs. When two people come together they will almost always have some differences. So, we can expect issues to come up in every relationship. Luckily, couples therapy can help you navigate those issues and learn new skills that will help you succeed in your relationships. It may be scary to talk to your partner about seeking help or even making the first phone call to a therapist. But today’s a good day to start.
