It’s Cuffing Season – Is it Time to Uplevel your Relationship?
The months are getting colder, nights are getting longer, and cuffing season is in full swing. We, as a society, have deemed the winter months to be cuffing season, a time where people are looking to get into relationships to avoid lonely, cold nights or compliment the warm, fuzzy feelings of the holidays (source). Whether you’re looking to move from dating to official boyfriend/girlfriend status, introduce your new bae to your family, or make other gestures of commitment with you partner (e.g., adopting a pet, moving in together, getting engaged), you may be wondering how and when to take those steps. If you are thinking about upleveling your relationship, here are some things you may want to consider first.
Do you want a serious relationship or do you just like the idea of it?
After seeing countless photos of couples in pumpkin patches, having elaborate engagements, or renovating their new place, it’s normal to want something similar for yourself. The idea of being at the next level of your relationship can be tempting, but you need to ask yourself if that’s something you really want. Once spring and summer come around, will you be happy with the decision to get more serious or feel resentful that your new bae is getting in the way of your hot girl summer plans. Remember to consider the feelings of the person you are with – they may end up getting hurt if you realize that you didn’t really want to take that step to begin with.
Are you at a place in your life where you’re ready for the next step?
What does your life look like right now? Are you building a career and putting in late, long hours in the office? Maybe you’re still in school and plan to do a semester abroad next year. Or maybe you’re still figuring out what you want to do or who you are. Just because you feel pressure to take things with your special someone to next level, doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily right for you. Even if you truly care about them, it might not be the right time in your life for something more serious.
Are you both on the same page?
It’s not uncommon for people to be on different pages when dating or in a relationship. It may be because you are unsure of how you feel, have different expectations on how slow or fast a relationship should go, or maybe you just want different things. In any case, it would be helpful to open up communication about the relationship and talk about where you’re at and where you both would like to go. If you find that you are not on the same page, it’s probably not the best time to take that next step. Instead, try to see what you both can do to slowly get on the same page.
Are you feeling good about this person or just settling for what you have?
Check-in with yourself to see how you actually feel about the person you are with. Does the relationship feel healthy to you? If you have struggled with this in the past, feel free to ask trusted family and friends to weigh-in. Are you ignoring red-flags or signs of incompatibility? Does taking this next step make you nervous-excited or nervous-fearful? Make sure that you are not making a move forward with someone who might not be a good fit because you feel like you should.
To level up or not to level up? That is the question…
From the early stages to the late stages, relationships can be tricky. When you feel like you want to take the next step in your relationship, regardless of what stage you are in now, make sure you are not rushing into it. With cuffing season in full-swing, it can be extra tempting to move forward with a relationship to fill the long, cold nights. Hopefully the questions above can you give a good starting point to check-in with yourself before you make that next step. For more insights on love, check out my other blog posts on relationships!
